Skits:
- Poem by the Emperor of Japan 1 (M)(3): the emporer recites a haiku
- Gavin's Mother's Funeral (all)(3): Gavin attends his mother's funeral (Gavin, Father, New Mother, Murray)
- Poem by the Emperor of Japan 2 (M)(3): another haiku
- King of Empty Promises (KDM)(3): the "Will Do" guy borrows a videotape from Lex (Dean, Lex)
- Bruce on How to Break Into Show Biz (B)(3): Bruce explains how to break into show business
- Appendix Scar of Hate (MDK)(3): man has a disturbing appendix scar (Doctor)
- Poem by the Emperor of Japan 3 (M)(3): another haiku
- Scott Thompson's Perfect Man (all)(3): Scott describes his perfect man
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