Stock Markets crash as traders realize humans are capable of error, Republicans rally a man for presidency due to his disinterest in politics, Obama requests Americans pretend to not be classless idiots while French leader visits, Osama bin Laden suspected to be hiding near set of TV show "Bin Laden Live", FDA Commissioner gives up on convincing Americans to eat healthy, Officials intend to discuss that North Korea destroyed Asia, GoldenMade CEO claims his company is not responsible for deaths due to massive corn syrup flood, study proves Comic Sans is funny, UFO sightings proven to be hoax perpetrated by aliens, regular Americans resistant to speaking their mind on Congress proposal to save money by cutting States from the Union, today NOW! featured the inspirational story of Amanda McCormick overcoming great difficulties to have sex with LeBron James, and Fox News misinformed viewers about Clyde the Cat.
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