Last U.S. citizen gives up on American Dream, Damaged Women's Coalition demand attention from Congress, protestors concerned adopted children of gay couples harmed by their protests, future National American Dream Memorial to dissolve and collapse, Americans celebrate no longer having to pretend they had not given up their dreams, NASA launched mission to explore New Mexico, Jeff Gordon donated $2 million to charity focused on ending his illiteracy, Biden replaces Secret Service with sexy female bodyguards, no one will ever invent something better than the American-invented zipper, victim count continues to increase after accidental release of 34 Katherine Heigl films, and Obama declares the new American Dream to be motorcycle ownership.
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