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Onion News Network Season 2008

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2008x1117 Attractive Girls Union Refuses To Enter Into Talks With Mike Greenman airdate unknown

Attractive Girls Union Refuses To Enter Into Talks With Mike Greenman

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2008x1118 Chinas Andy Rooney Has Some Funny Opinions About How Great The Chinese Government Is airdate unknown

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2008x1124 In Thanksgiving Tradition, Bush Pardons Scooter Libby In Giant Turkey Costume airdate unknown

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2008x1127 USDA Official Takes Courageous Stand Against Interstate Countercyclical Potato Pricing airdate unknown

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2008x1201 NASA Simulator Prepares Astronauts For Rigors Of An Interview With Larry King airdate unknown

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2008x1208 New Portable Sewing Machine Lets Sweatshop Employees Work On The Go airdate unknown

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2008x1209 President To Face Down Monster Attack, Own Demons In Action-Packed Schedule airdate unknown

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2008x1215 Aunts And Stepdads Line Up For This Year's Hottest Gift: The Electric Tea Kettle airdate unknown

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2008x1217 Weather Channel Accused of Pro-Weather Bias airdate unknown

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2008x1218 2-Year-Old Donkey Called Up To Pro Donkey Basketball League airdate unknown

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2008x1219 Anonymous Philanthropist Donates 200 Human Kidneys To Hospital airdate unknown

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2008x1220 Congress Debates Merits Of New Catchphrase airdate unknown

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2008x1221 Expert On Anteaters Wasted Entire Life Studying Anteaters airdate unknown

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2008x1222 Host Tracy Gill Recommends New Tracy Gill Biography airdate unknown

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2008x1223 NHL Star Called Up To Big Leagues To Play For NFL Team airdate unknown

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2008x1224 Study: Most Children Strongly Opposed To Children’s Healthcare airdate unknown

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2008x1225 Supreme Court Rules Death Penalty Is 'Totally Badass' airdate unknown

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2008x1226 Suspicious Package Industry Falls On Hard Times airdate unknown

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2008x1227 Study: Nearly 80 Percent Of Roommates Got So Drunk Last Night airdate unknown

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2008x1228 Horrific 120-Car Pileup A Sad Reminder Of Princess Diana’s Death airdate unknown

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2008x1229 New Auto Security System Will Not Allow Car To Start If Driver Is Nick Nolte airdate unknown

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2008x1230 Report: American Schools Trail Behind World In Aptitude Of Child Soldiers airdate unknown

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2008x1231 Suspicious Package Industry Falls On Hard Times airdate unknown

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2008x1232 Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters airdate unknown

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2008x1233 Precocious Youngster Sells Cookies To Buy Attack Ad airdate unknown

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2008x1234 Child Bankrupts Make-A-Wish Foundation With Wish For Unlimited Wishes airdate unknown

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2008x1235 As Obese Population Rises, More Candidates Courting The Fat Vote airdate unknown

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2008x1236 Breaking News: Series Of Concentric Circles Emanating From Glowing Red Dot airdate unknown

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2008x1237 Mysterious Traveler Entrances Town With Utopian Vision Of The Future airdate unknown

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2008x1238 Live From Congress: Representative Wants To Rid Congress Of Gang Members airdate unknown

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2008x1239 Ngyuen Thi Buch Thuy: 'Just Give Me The Damn Sepak Takraw Ball' airdate unknown

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2008x1240 In The Know: New Iraqi Law Requires Waiting Period For Suicide Vest Purchases airdate unknown

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2008x1241 Online Dating Helping Pathetic Women Get Their Hopes Crushed More Efficiently airdate unknown

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2008x1242 Nation Of Andorra Not In Africa, Shocked U.S. State Dept. Reports airdate unknown

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2008x1243 Diebold Accidentally Leaks Results Of 2008 Election Early airdate unknown

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2008x1244 In The Know: How Can We Make The War In Iraq More Eco-Friendly? airdate unknown

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2008x1245 FCC Okays Nudity On TV If It’s Alyson Hannigan airdate unknown

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2008x1246 Delicious Snacks Distract Congressmen From Horrors Of War airdate unknown

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2008x1247 Army Holds Annual 'Bring Your Daughter To War' Day airdate unknown

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2008x1248 White House Press Secretary Spins Wife’s Tragic Death As A Positive airdate unknown

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2008x1249 9/11 Conspiracy Theories 'Ridiculous,' Al Qaeda Says airdate unknown

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2008x1250 Plight Of Missing Hikers Will Make Great Movie airdate unknown

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2008x1251 Hungry FDA Official Orders Massive Pot Pie Recall airdate unknown

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2008x1252 Wildly Popular 'Iron Man' Trailer To Be Adapted Into Full-Length Film airdate unknown

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2008x1253 Astronauts Suffer Agonizing, High-Pitched Death After Helium Leak airdate unknown

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2008x1254 Age-Progression Technology Indicates Missing Child A Prostitute By Now airdate unknown

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2008x1255 Historic ‘Blockbuster’ Store Offers Glimpse Of How Movies Were Rented In The Past airdate unknown

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2008x1256 In The Know: Are Politicians Failing Our Lobbyists? airdate unknown

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2008x1257 Diet Book Author Advocates New 'No Food Diet' airdate unknown

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2008x1258 Genetic Scientists Develop Sheep With Brain Of A Goat airdate unknown

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2008x1259 Reporter In Helicopter Pretty Sure Landslide Down There Somewhere airdate unknown

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2008x1260 'Warcraft' Sequel Lets Gamers Play A Character Playing 'Warcraft' airdate unknown

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2008x1261 U.S. Finally Gets Around To Closing Last WWII Internment Camp airdate unknown

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2008x1262 High School Tony Awards Honor Nation's Biggest Drama Club Nerds airdate unknown

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2008x1263 Entertainment Scientists Warn Miley Cyrus Will Be Depleted by 2013 airdate unknown

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2008x1264 Bush Tours America To Survey Damage Caused By His Disastrous Presidency airdate unknown

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2008x1265 Volatile India-Pakistan Standoff Enters 11,680th Day airdate unknown

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2008x1266 Congress Struggles To Come Up With Cool Name For Anti-Drug Initiative airdate unknown

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2008x1267 'No Values Voters' Looking To Support Most Evil Candidate airdate unknown

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2008x1268 Tiny Dog Has Been Barking Nonstop For 6 Years airdate unknown

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2008x1269 Domino's Scientists Test Limits Of What Humans Will Eat airdate unknown

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2008x1270 Chef Cooks 'Dream Omelet' From Recipe That Came To Him In A Dream airdate unknown

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2008x1271 Pentagon's Unmanned Spokesdrone Completes First Press Conference Mission airdate unknown

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2008x1272 Study Finds Young People Remain Apathetic About Office Politics airdate unknown

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2008x1273 The Beijing Olympics: Are They A Trap? airdate unknown

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2008x1274 'Cosmopolitan' Institute Completes Decades-Long Study On How To Please Your Man airdate unknown

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2008x1275 Chinese Officials: Deadly Virus Sweeping China Is Just Olympic Fever airdate unknown

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2008x1276 Astronaut Suspects NASA Using Him To Test Space's Effects On Fat People airdate unknown

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2008x1277 Latest Poll Reveals 430 New Demographics That Will Decide Election airdate unknown

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2008x1278 Californians Gather To Celebrate Annual Wildfire Tradition airdate unknown

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2008x1279 Hurricane Bound For Texas Slowed By Large Land Mass To The South airdate unknown

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2008x1280 Portrayal Of Obama As Elitist Hailed As Step Forward For African Americans airdate unknown

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2008x1281 Old, Grizzled Third-Party Candidate May Steal Support From McCain airdate unknown

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2008x1282 Being A Detective Who Talks To Ghosts Not As Exciting As It Looks On TV airdate unknown

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2008x1283 Pre-Game Coin Toss Makes Jacksonville Jaguars Realize Randomness Of Life airdate unknown

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2008x1284 Economists Warn Anti-Bush Merchandise Market Close To Collapse airdate unknown

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2008x1285 Disney Lab Unveils Its Latest Line Of Genetically Engineered Child Stars airdate unknown

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2008x1286 Obama Promises To Stop America's Shitty Jobs From Going Overseas airdate unknown

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2008x1287 McCain’s Economic Plan For Nation: 'Everyone Marry A Beer Heiress' airdate unknown

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2008x1288 Obama Runs Constructive Criticism Ad Against McCain airdate unknown

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2008x1289 China Launches First Willing Manned Mission Into Space airdate unknown

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2008x1290 Gunman Kills 15 Potential Voters In Crucial Swing State airdate unknown

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2008x1291 Extreme Weather Alert: Meteorologists Predict Intensely Brisk Autumn airdate unknown

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2008x1292 12-Year-Old Boy Scouts Volunteer To Give Women Breast Exams airdate unknown

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2008x1293 Was There Too Much Sex And Profanity In The HBO Presidential Debate? airdate unknown

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2008x1294 John McCain Accidentally Left On Campaign Bus Overnight airdate unknown

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2008x1295 First Openly Gay Racehorse To Compete Sunday airdate unknown

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2008x1296 Press Secretary's 'Zumtrel Flooby' Answer May Be Attempt To Evade Question airdate unknown

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2008x1297 Cindy McCain Claims She’s ‘Just Like Any Other Female Human’ airdate unknown

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2008x1298 Obama Undertakes Presidential Internship To Ease Concerns About His Lack Of Experience airdate unknown

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2008x1299 In The Know: Has Halloween Become Overcommercialized? airdate unknown

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2008x1300 Barbara Bush Runs Aground Off Coast Of Maine airdate unknown

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2008x1301 Voting Machines Elect One Of Their Own As President airdate unknown

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2008x1302 Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are airdate unknown

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2008x1303 YouTube Contest Challenges Users To Make A 'Good' Video airdate unknown

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2008x1304 In The Know: Should The Government Stop Dumping Money Into A Giant Hole? airdate unknown

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2008x1305 Reporters Blow Up Plane, Expose Security Lapses aired Mar 31, 2008

271 are dead after an Onion News Network Special Investigative Report on airport security.

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2008x1306 Christian Charity Helps To Feed Non-Gay Hungry aired Apr 02, 2008

A Colorado-based Christian charity is providing aid for any and all heterosexual Africans in need.

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