Onion News Network Season 2

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Asteroid Heads to Earth
3.2
5 votes
2x01 Asteroid Heads to Earth aired Oct 04, 2011

Asteroid set to destroy Earth in 30 minutes, screenwriter's plan to stop asteroid with attractive everymen failed miserably, Shelby Cross intends to rule the... read more

awaiting 5 votes
2x02 Missing Baby Kate aired Oct 11, 2011

Brooke Alvarez is now single, government warning country of impending release of rap ballads about fatherhood by Jay-Z, attempted kidnapping of Michelle Obam... read more

Fantasy Brainwall
awaiting 5 votes
2x03 Fantasy Brainwall aired Oct 18, 2011

Brooke Alvarez will always be the face of cable news, comatose former congressman running for president, potentially dangerous self-defense instructors know ... read more

Dead Reporter
awaiting 5 votes
2x04 Dead Reporter aired Oct 25, 2011

Onion reporter died in brothel fire while recording part 412 of his report on the Eastern European sex trade, Shelby Cross recommends keeping kids safe from ... read more

Exposed, Brooke Alvarez
awaiting 5 votes
2x05 Exposed, Brooke Alvarez aired Nov 01, 2011

Brooke Alvarez's cold personality is a result of her childhood trauma in the Russian space program, Obama puts CEO of highly profitable and terrible tasting ... read more

Today Now! Special
awaiting 5 votes
2x06 Today Now! Special aired Nov 11, 2011

In a rebroadcast of today NOW!: Search for missing fat black man continues, medical expert Dr. Kareem Mazari talks about children who refuse to take off thei... read more

Sex in America
awaiting 5 votes
2x07 Sex in America aired Nov 18, 2011

Mystery candidate leading GOP presidential polls, new robot warns masturbators of people approaching, government officials sick of dealing with Afghanistan, ... read more

Artificial Intelligence
awaiting 5 votes
2x08 Artificial Intelligence aired Nov 25, 2011

Thousands trapped on couch by Confessions: Animal Hoarding marathon, people with facial tattoos face discrimination from potential employers, Mahmoud Ahmadin... read more

Brooke vs. O'Brady
awaiting 5 votes
2x09 Brooke vs. O'Brady aired Dec 02, 2011

O'Brady Shaw co-hosts as a woman's loud voice disturbs the nation, new weight-loss drug causes nightmarish hallucinations around food, parents tribute dead s... read more

Year in Review
awaiting 5 votes
2x10 Year in Review aired Dec 09, 2011

In a review of the year's top headlines: Obese Osama bin Laden found, Queen consummates her grandson's marriage to Kate Middleton, Fukushima mutants reassure... read more

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