Two and a Half Men Season 9

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Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt
3.7
176 votes
9x01 Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt aired Sep 19, 2011

Ashton Kutcher joins the cast as Walden Schmidt, an internet billionaire with a broken heart.

People Who Love Peepholes
3.7
161 votes
9x02 People Who Love Peepholes aired Sep 26, 2011

Judy Greer is introduced as Bridget, Walden's ex-wife.

Big Girls Don't Throw Food
3.8
151 votes
9x03 Big Girls Don't Throw Food aired Oct 03, 2011

Alan "temporarily" moves in with Walden. Walden solicits Alan's advice about women and also inadvertently gives Jake bad life advice.

Nine Magic Fingers
3.8
148 votes
9x04 Nine Magic Fingers aired Oct 10, 2011

Walden attempts to re-enter the dating game while Alan tries to reconcile with Lyndsey.

A Giant Cat Holding a Churro
3.8
157 votes
9x05 A Giant Cat Holding a Churro aired Oct 17, 2011

When Alan catches a late night movie featuring a nude Lyndsey, he confronts her about secrets and stupidly reveals secrets from his own past. Walden feels so... read more

The Squat and the Hover
3.8
154 votes
9x06 The Squat and the Hover aired Oct 24, 2011

Walden's pending divorce becomes real when the divorce papers arrive from his wife. He must decide whether to run away from his problems or seek help. In the... read more

Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
3.9
155 votes
9x07 Those Fancy Japanese Toilets aired Oct 31, 2011

Walden wants to redecorate and Evelyn offers her professional services, among other things. Jake tries to make time with his tutor, who obsesses over Walden.... read more

Thank You for the Intercourse
4.1
154 votes
9x08 Thank You for the Intercourse aired Nov 07, 2011

When Walden sells Charlie's piano, Alan goes off the deep end and starts channeling his inner Charlie.

Frodo's Headshots
4.1
159 votes
9x09 Frodo's Headshots aired Nov 14, 2011

Alan returns from the nuthouse to find his life has descended into chaos.

A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
4.1
155 votes
9x10 A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes aired Nov 21, 2011

Walden dates a British woman he met at the supermarket but struggles with his post-divorce feelings.

What a Lovely Landing Strip
4.2
162 votes
9x11 What a Lovely Landing Strip aired Dec 05, 2011

Walden has finally moved on from Bridget and is pulling out all the stops to impress his new girlfriend Zoey, when Bridget decides she wants to come back.

One False Move, Zimbabwe!
3.9
154 votes
9x12 One False Move, Zimbabwe! aired Dec 12, 2011

Walden is looking forward to spending Christmas with his mother and meeting Zoey's parents. However, his mother's visit triggers memories of his early childh... read more

Slowly and in a Circular Fashion
4.1
161 votes
9x13 Slowly and in a Circular Fashion aired Jan 02, 2012

Walden is shocked when his mother and ex-wife team up to take over his company, for his own good. Walden seeks advice from Zoey and decides to ask Alan for h... read more

A Possum On Chemo
3.9
165 votes
9x14 A Possum On Chemo aired Jan 16, 2012

Zoey asks Walden to clean up his act regarding his hair and beard in order to make him more presentable to her colleagues. Alan looks to get back with Lyndsey.

The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack
4.1
151 votes
9x15 The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack aired Feb 06, 2012

Zoey proves reluctant to discuss her and Walden's love life, so he tries some of Berta's special brownies as an icebreaker.

Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy
4.1
162 votes
9x16 Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy aired Feb 13, 2012

A storm that strands the two couples inside leads to fussin' and feudin' between Lyndsey and Zoey on Valentine's Day.

Not in My Mouth!
3.8
169 votes
9x17 Not in My Mouth! aired Feb 20, 2012

A perceived crisis causes Walden to utter the "L" word, and he is distraught when Zoey does not reciprocate. Lyndsey's drinking causes Alan some concern.

The War Against Gingivitis
3.8
166 votes
9x18 The War Against Gingivitis aired Feb 27, 2012

Walden and his former business partner make a temporary peace to work on a new project.

Palmdale, Ech
3.9
160 votes
9x19 Palmdale, Ech aired Mar 19, 2012

Alan and Lyndsey introduce their mothers to one another. Meanwhile, Jake and Eldridge enlist Walden to drive them to a high school party.

Grandma's Pie
3.9
127 votes
9x20 Grandma's Pie aired Apr 09, 2012

Walden breaks the news to Zoey that he is going into business with his ex-wife. Alan and Lyndsey try to cope with their mom's relationship.

Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'
3.9
123 votes
9x21 Mr. Hose Says 'Yes' aired Apr 16, 2012

Walden's commitment is tested when Zoey and her daughter come to live with him. Meanwhile, Alan gets more than he bargained for when he moves in with Lyndsey

Why We Gave Up Women
3.6
117 votes
9x22 Why We Gave Up Women aired Apr 30, 2012

Alan's injuries from the previous episode catches up to him and he ends up in the hospital after a minor heart attack. While there, he receives a surprise vi... read more

The Straw in My Donut Hole
3.6
113 votes
9x23 The Straw in My Donut Hole aired May 07, 2012

an is showered with love and affection upon returning from the hospital, but Zoey isn't so sure it's deserved.

Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!
3.9
114 votes
9x24 Oh Look! Al-Qaeda! aired May 14, 2012

Jake is pressured to make a decision about his future.

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